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Sorry to bother you. Can I just talk to you about something kind of important?

Can you spot all the words in that statement that lack confidence?

The words we choose matter. Word selection can immediately lend itself to a perception of your capabilities and impact your own self-confidence. We are here to share a few helpful tips that can improve your own confidence and how others see you:

  • Avoid filler words. Words like, just/um (this isn't even a word but is treated as one)/believe/think/'re lowering your own credibility. Worse yet, when you lump them together such as, "I just feel that...", you're having even more of a negative impact on your credibility. Aiming to remove these filler words elevates your own self-confidence and therefore, the confidence others have in you.

  • Reduce your unnecessary apologizing. We shared last week an awesome Shine blog post that talks about the impact of over apologizing. Reserve "I'm sorry" for something that truly warrants it. Better yet, replace it altogether with the gratitude and the action you'll take instead.

  • Stop asking for permission. I was guilty of this all the time by prefacing my needs with, "would you mind?". The downfall of this statement is that you actually give room for the other person to consider "yes" or "no", for something that is likely reasonable. In addition, asking for permission is often rooted in your own insecurity about the thing you need or an opinion you may have. Instead of asking for permission, speak with conviction and gratuity, such as "When you have a moment, please..."

No one is perfect. I still struggle with this all the time. The first step is being aware that you may do these things and taking actionable steps to try to improve.

We would love to hear from you - What statements have you heard people say that give you an impression of a lack of confidence?

Shine On,



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