The one good thing about my divorce is, I met one of my best friends.
In 2015, Jaclyn and I were going through it. Divorce, that is. We met at a mutual friend’s birthday trip to Sonoma. That trip was fabulous, but at the time, we both were silently struggling with where we were at personally. Jaclyn had recently made the decision to separate from her then-husband, and I was on the same path a few short months later.
Despite that, I knew Jaclyn and I were going to be fast friends. A few months later, following my separation, we met for happy hour. I hadn’t told a lot of people about it. I quickly learned that telling people you were getting a divorce came with a lot of judgment. It was like wearing a scarlet letter ‘D’ on your chest. But I could feel that telling Jaclyn would be different.
I came out with it; I was getting a divorce. The weight was lifted immediately only because Jaclyn’s response was warm and supportive. Jaclyn shared her journey of her own divorce, and we traded stories, advice and tears.
Over the coming months, our friendship evolved beyond our mini divorce support group. We had mutual interests - style and fashion. We would text shopping options and review our daily outfit choices. Jaclyn would question my choices, and I would bluntly give her a thumbs or down when she shared hers. Divorce may have brought us together as friends, but style and fashion formulated a strong foundation for our friendship. I suppose that’s what mutual interests do.
Now, 7 years later, we are two of the very best friends. We are more than the divorces that brought us together (thank God), and we’re even more than the fashion and style that kept us growing as friends. Our lives over the last 7 years have brought children, career changes, life challenges, amazing memories, and growth together into one strong and very big friendship.
Big friendships come in all shapes and sizes. They ebb and they flow. They are challenging, yet kind. They make you believe in yourself and support your achievements. But the most important fact is that big friendships are always there, despite it all.